Some of my fondest memories growing up were my family’s big Sunday dinners with cousins, aunts, uncles and my grandmother.
I knew very early on that I wanted to have a big family and fill a house with laughter of siblings in playful rifles, creating memories.
I remember the moment I realized that I wanted to have sons; which was when I was 16, helping my BFF babysit her nephew. Of course, I wasn’t actively trying to create any of this as a teenager. I didn’t even start planning to have a family until I was 28. And wouldn’t you know it…the very first time I tracked my cycle, I got pregnant. I remember thinking, “Man, getting pregnant is super easy.” Two weeks later though, I found out that I was having an ectopic pregnancy that wasn’t viable and I had to agree to a heartbreaking treatment to stop the embryo from growing any further in my fallopian tubes, before they burst and put my life in danger.
After that, getting pregnant seemed impossible.
Year after year, my husband and I continually tried. So many ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, blood work, check-ups and disappointments. I tried fertility drugs, alternative therapies, acupuncture and eventually IvF, which by the way was the worst. By 35 I was no closer to my dream of having a child, let alone a big family, and I had a hard decision to make. Do I keep trying, spending thousands and thousands of dollars? Or do I let go?
It wasn’t just that decision that was hard to make. It was facing all the family and friends who were so confident that it would work out in the end. It was being happy for my BFF who conquered her own fertility issues and was raising a baby boy. It was overcoming the pressure in my marriage to not be jealous of the relationship my husband had with his son from before our marriage.
Before this moment, I had been a pretty driven person and I finally met a challenge I couldn’t conquer.
I won’t say it was an easy battle. 2019 was NOT my year. Followed by 2020, which was not the year for many, many people. But as I self-quarantined in the early months of COVID-19, I started to allow myself to imagine a different path for my life. If the dream of having a big family wasn’t to come true…what could I do instead?
I’ve always loved real estate, old houses, traveling, exploring, and having new experiences. I combed over my hobbies and interests over and over, looking for a calling that I could pour my passion into… and hopefully also make some money.
Slowly a new path began to emerge for me.
I saw a way to combine my life skills of teaching and coaching with my passion of real estate and travel.
If I didn’t have kids to tote around with me, I could travel more often, further out, and for longer periods of time. I could explore different culture’s architecture and do things “just for the fun of it.”
I could show other women how to grow their own independence through solo travel.
I immediately fell in love with the idea, because solo travel is perfect for all. It’s not an exclusive single woman’s game. It’s not just for the young or just for the adventuresome. And if ever I had children, it wouldn’t be something I had to give up.
“When God closes one door, he opens another.” Maybe having my own children isn’t in the cards for me. Who’s to say? But standing in the fork in the road, I finally realized that it wasn’t the only option that could bring me happiness and meaning. Being denied one option was actually giving me much more opportunity elsewhere.
Over the next several months, I recounted my many past solo trips and created a roadmap for other women interested in doing the same. Whether it’s because your family cancels last-minute, your friends can’t get off work or find a babysitter, or because you simply have the time and opportunity to travel more often than those around you; solo travel is the answer.
In the fall I launched my course and never looked back.
Today, I teach women how to transform from being apprehensive to confident and safe in their solo travels. I explain that just as much as a spa day or treating yourself to those nice pair of shoes, taking time to yourself helps deliver self-care, self-love and balance to our otherwise hectic worlds (think working-from-home while home schooling in 2020).
My approach in this course and coaching is to help women build up a supportive travel community that can cheer-lead them on through challenges, struggles, and the learning curve that can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
And, by empowering them, I continue to be empowered.
So… are kids getting a chapter in my life’s story?
Again, I don’t know. But happiness is definitely here. The love and support, laughter and family, that I always wanted to be surrounded with is just as real within my community of women as it would be at a Sunday dinner table. And trust that as soon as COVID allows, we’ll be back at a table together too; filling up a real estate short-term rental, engaging in playful rifles, and creating fantastic memories. I am Megan, owner of EPT, and I am a ReWriter!
Megan | EPT
If you’re interested in learning more about Megan’s solo travel course and community, visit EPTbyMegan.com