the beginning…
For as long as I can remember, I’ve enjoyed helping others, especially those younger than me. So, when I became a parent, it was a natural choice for me to get involved with my children’s education as a room parent and school volunteer. I organized the Easter fashion shows, history plays, performances, art gallery exhibitions, field trips, fundraising activities, etc.
I actually wanted to do it. I believed that all the children were mine because they were a part of my community - a village. I knew the prize of being interested in all of their well-being, not just my own child’s.
In the background was my list of dreams always brewing. The larger goal was a facility - big enough to house multiple programs for teens. I pictured it, with no full details, because this was for much later in life (so I thought); an afterschool community cultural center of sorts. Yes, this was it; the building would have my family’s name on it, like the Annenberg’s. Still, it would not be for years. So, I put down the dream, goals for philanthropy, etc., and stopped looking at my list to be “that mom”, ever-present in her children’s lives.
In 2017, I began to see the void that was expanding with middle school students. My daughter was one; my son would soon be one. My children told me their friends did not have chores. Shocked, I’m thinking, “So parents aren’t teaching their kids that they need to take part in managing their home community? That’s going to pose a problem very soon”. My kids gave me stats on YouTubers and asked if they could be one too; they could become a millionaire simply through followers! Lots of my parent friends said their children were sold on having a YouTube career too. It made me uncomfortable that so many young people were being sold a lie. They never see the work you have to do to get to the edited production of a YouTube channel going consistently. This is easily a metaphor for the Generation Z upbringing. Every few months, there is a new tech feature that does something else for humans that they can do on their own. What makes it worse is that the adults may find some relief to a task they had been doing, but the children bypass learning how to do it all together. I kept wrestling with this insane way of pretending to make life better. If the Wi-Fi does not work, your child has to know how to fully function, and so do you.
Fast forward to 2019. I knew I had to do something. I knew the value in preserving those good old fashion basics from being completely suffocated out of our societal norms. I want to point out that many bad traits of “good old fashion” ideology have been dismantled, and there is a place for change for the greater good always. I am super happy to see more tolerance and understanding that there are many ways to learn; removing people from a box is wonderful. Then again, we cannot throw out fundamentals.
Home Economics was an excellent offering in high school; it should have been for all students, just as woodshop or a similar course should have remained and been available to all students.
our now…
Enter The Grace and Wisdom Institute (G.A.W.I.), a social-emotional life skills development program for Teen Girls. Social grace and etiquette training, civic engagement, and community service projects for teens.
I believe that 2020 exposed our fragility because many adults lacked the primal life skills that were not mastered: coping skills, anger management, unhealthy even abusive relationship behaviors, narcissism, lack of empathy, etc.
Knowing that Jesus is the center of your life really can prevent some of these issues, but many believers have not learned a lot of crucial life skills that can prevent them from having such hardships and health issues, and money issues, and relationship issues. I want to attack the chokehold that our modern society places on young people’s understanding of cultivating a harvest. Myles Munroe said, “The mango seed in your hand is a forest. It may never come to be depending on how the seed is planted.” First, we need a tree; then it bears fruit, then the fruit has to mature, then you can use the seed inside to replant... it is a process, not an overnight YouTube lesson.
our future…
Our everyday life will not look like the trials that came out of 2020 forever. Neither should it take a global crisis for us to be amazing to each other. It cannot only be when we are in extreme deprivation (thanks to all those who have been heroes). We must be equipped to manage stress, disappointment, disasters plan, have a financial plan, feel comfortable being alone with ourselves sometimes, normally give to those who need, participate in civic engagement regularly, find joy even when things are not going well, just because.
I am thankful to have received clarity in my purpose during the global pandemic. The lockdown while devastating and emotionally draining for many. It personally was an opportunity for me to refocus and be still enough to hear what I had begged God to show me. I have compassion and have become more involved in volunteering as a result and made it a larger priority in our community service goals.
“Not all storms come to disrupt your life; some come to clear your path”
-unknown
Lastly, I pray that today's parents come to understand that if you want your child to succeed, you have to let them work hard and practice solving problems and thinking critically. While some parents are much more financially secure than their parents were, exposing your children to end results without teaching them about the process, allowing them to experience it first-hand, really sets them up for failure. It is a huge shock for them when they go to college or have to make important decisions they are not ready for. They often have no real-life application to associate with. This is huge, and then when you pile on the fact that they did not have to earn on their own, they will not value anything truly until they do. Many walk away, give up, or continue to drift with confusion, which harbors negativity, instability, and emotional insecurity. These become harder to detect as they get older but typically manifest more heavily in their romantic and close relationships. It is bigger than if they will have the ability to find work, have shelter, and you still pay their car note, while they find themselves… Internal connections aresevered when they are not properly trained to manage the unexpected, to solve basic and complex problems. So G.A.W.I. is here to offer the “gym” for teens to get the much-needed “workout” prep in. I can’t imagine any young person who wouldn’t benefit. #iAMaRewriter
Kesha Knighten Hughes
Founder, Executive Director • The Grace and Wisdom Institute
www.graceandwisdominstitute.org
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